revisiting 1984

Well it is often said that reality surpasses the imagination. in so many instances, this has been proven true. Once more, we are provided with the sterling example of Russia´s Kremlin who has now undertaken to put into effect what George Orwell described to us in the magnificent, if not scary novel 1984. Putin apparently doesnt agree with how the Communist Soviet Union is represented in the history books so he has sought to rewrite history and how we remember Stalin among other things as well.. it seems that Orwell´s language of Newspeak is also materialising as the Kremlin describes the Second World War for example as the Gran Guerra Patriótica!! it´s scary the way the past can be mutable and distorted especially with the technology now available. As Orwell rightly predicted, more and more we are brainwashed by "Big Brother" leaders who would go to any lenghts to keep the proles in their place. the only thing that remains it seems is the appearance of telescreens in our houses vigilating our every move.. and later, who knows, even controlling and intruding in our thoughts!!
Have a read of the article yourself!

The Mother

I still remember her image. she had long black hair, was a bit overweight after six pregnancies, had lost almost all her teeth, was very wrinkled and was now past sixty. Her eyes, however, still matched her vivacity and sparkled cantakerously... she was a unique woman, no doubt. Was it that all mothers were so abnegating, loving, giving?
She got married at the age of 28. That was old then. She remembered seeing her husband in the train in her school days. He was known for his violent tendencies and later she would tell us that many a times in a fit of anger, he would scream "I will eat you raw!". She often seemed to repent the years she spent with him, this man who loved and illtreated her the same time. She received many a blows from him and would find herself in her mothers house many weekends after lenghtened fights. The worse, she would add, was the humilliation she felt, for she lived with her inlaws and their wives or husbands as well. they all sniggered behind her back and looked for any opportunity to humilliate her even more. She was the only one educated amongst them and would often add that these "stupid arse people" felt they were better than her... she would lament all her lost potential.. for she was a talented, determined woman. In her youthful days, some would have found her quite beautiful as well.
Her sisters had all migrated abroad. she on the other hand, had to stop working because her husband didnt approve of it.. in fact, even if she left the house, she would be given the third degree. that was why, she said, that when she left home, sometimes she never felt like returning.. she would lie that it was her children that always brought her back.. Sometimes i would sneak looks at the two of them together. There was love, for sure. She was an affectionate woman with charm and tenderness. He, a bit rough and uncouth, also had a lot of sex appeal. By his heavy breathing when he ate, i could tell he was passionate in bed. At sixty something, he still had a sleak figure which was the envy of many men his age. Some would also commend him on his dark, smooth, firm skin..
Of all her six children, none managed to make her proud. This was a constant source of distress and lamentations for her. She had tried so hard... sacrificed so much, she was educated, she raised her children well.. she would sigh.. but alas! there were too many missed opportunities. She should have married off her first son when he was twenty, she knew.. there were good offers then. Now, at thirty five, he was wasting away, still single, with a bleak future. He spent most nites looking at pornography videos and masturbating in the little room that served as the resting place for all. it was a pity, she would repeat, i don´t know how he get so, she would add.. he would also molest her other daughters, she knew that, but she never confronted him with it..
That´s why one of them left, or at least that´s what she had said. She remembers seeing the movie "The Altar Boys". The young girl let her brother molest her and even confessed that she enjoyed it and begged for more. Was that how her daughters felt as well? One of them would show her all the cracks in the wooden partitions which the brother had undoubtedly made to see them undressing. Once, one of the smaller ones caught him and screamed. She said she would often have nightmares. This was one of them she confessed to me:
He would often appear menacing, many times totally naked. there was this one time when he emerged from his room and tried to draw her attention to his enlarged penis. she would scream and try to escape. only that when she opened her mouth, no sound emerged. it was the most horrifying feeling, you know? totally helpless, afraid and anguished. Trying to escape from a space that was closing in on you. then i would awake in fright, breathing heavy with sweat running down my spine. Of course it was difficult to fall asleep after this. I would like awake and also masturbate for that was the only thing that calmed me, brought me pleasure and made me sleep again...at ease.
Was the mother oblivious to all this? Maybe she shut her eyes to avoid the disgrace, the shame, the scandal. did this make her a bad mother? What was her responsibility? I shudda get him married long time.. but the girl was so black and ugly, she would say.. she was a stupid arse.. but now she high and dry... she would repeat. I would listen to her, although i knew every last detail by heart.. sometimes i would get angry, feel like cursing her and telling her to get the hell out of my sight.. but i knew she was as anguished as me. She was a constant believer in god and many nites, i heard her weeping loudly, begging God to help her children, not to make them the laughing stock of the family. one was a bachelor nearing forty. The other was a drunkard who was with many a married woman and whore. the other ran away and was with a mexican doctor (maxi conductor). Lord.. she would pray, helplessly, don´t let my children go astray.. I wanted to laugh.. what was the use? Who got married nowadays? so what if your son was with a divorcée? He was no innocent man either! And so what if he was drank? So what if your daughter wanted to live far away and start her life the way she pleased? So what, i wanted to scream?

No, but people, gossip.. that would one day kill her, i knew...

New lactose fad in China?

Yet another interesting article taken from El País and entitled more or less "What if China consumed its own milk?" Well it seems that this new fad as the article insinuates, promoted by its Premier with huge advertisements encouraging greater milk consumption, could affect milk prices the world over.. Great Britain is already bracing itself.. im sure some of you are thinking... maybe the Chinese are better off being lactose intolerant right?!!! Feel free to leave funny thought provoking comments.

female preferences

Just saw this interesting article in the El País newspaper on what features or behaviour women now prefer in the partner they choose according to a survey done in the UK. According to the opinions collected, women seem to prefer the softer more feminine look in men rather that the virile, harsh features which have long occupied the top of the hierarchy. it seems that the more feminine they are, the less likely inclined they would be to infidelity among other negative traits in a more lasting partner... have a read yourself...

Adiós al macho ibérico
Las mujeres prefieren hombres con algunos rasgos femeninos para una relación duradera

Un estudio revela que las mujeres prefieren hombres con algunos rasgos femeninos en lugar de aquellos que muestran un aspecto muy masculino. La razón es que no son vistos como buenos candidatos para una relación permanente, según señala la revista Personality and Individual Differences.
Las mujeres participantes en el estudio indicaron que los hombres con algunos rasgos femeninos pueden ser compañeros más comprometidos y con menos tendencia a la infidelidad.
Los científicos pidieron a 400 hombres y mujeres británicos que emitieran un juicio acerca de fotografías de hombres alteradas con el objeto de que se vieran más o menos masculinos o femeninos. También se les solicitó que pronosticaran sus características personales, incluso comportamiento sexual, y si serían buenos padres.
De esta manera, los hombres de rasgos muy masculinos, como el mentón cuadrado, una nariz más voluminosa y ojos pequeños, fueron calificados como dominantes, infieles, malos padres y con personalidad menos "cálida" en comparación con los que tenían algún rasgo femenino.
Las mujeres han dejado de creer en el mito de la masculinidad asociado al buen estado físico e inmunidad a las enfermedades.

Eyes to see

Epigraph from Fugitive Light by Mohamed Berrada:

My God, lovers are not at fault. it is you who put them to the test by creating many a pretty face Therewith captivating onlookers´ hearts. And yet you command us to overlook them As if You created no eyes for us.

Cuál prefieres mi corazón?

Hola, estoy leyendo un relato de un marroqui Mohamed Berrada y encontré este párrafo que quería compartir contigo. es en inglés, luego intentaré traducirlo-

"Cling to your chaos my heart, for order-any order-will grant you nothing but monotony and surrender and cocoon rottenness; it will deprive you of being fascinated by the birghtness of morning, by the golden light of late afternoon, by the soft caress of the breeze, it will stand between you and the pleasure of walking on a narrow isthmus in response to a call from a bottomless abyss. Choas? Order? at least when you utter the word "chaos" that suggests jungles of meaning. as for order, how ugly is the austerity of its wrinkles!" (Fugitive Light)

Y en español, mas o menos, sería - "Aferra a tu caos, mi corazón, porque el orden, cualquier orden, sólo te da monotonía y resignación y una putrefacción de capullo. te priva de fascinarte por el brillo de la mañana, la luz dorada del atardecer, de la dulce caricia de la brisa. Se impomdrá en el camino entre tu y el placer de caminar en un estrecho istmo como respuesta a una llamada del abismo sin fondo. Caos? Orden? Por lo menos, cuando dices "orden", sugiere una jungla de significados. en cuanto a "orden", cuán fea es la austeridad de sus arrugas!"

Saludos.

So this is life, she thought. an empty hollowness that threatened to swallow her or even chew her and then spit her out. She contemplated suicide. No, she was too vain and proud to stoop so low.. besides she was a coward at heart and she knew it. Childhood memories began to haunt her. Images from that school novel Annie John came to her mind. Like when a boy asked Annie to remove all her clothes and placed her on an ant´s patch, totally naked. or the disgust she felt when she saw her parents making out. She didn´t understand what these images had to do with anything. Maybe it was this mentality a la Annie John which she possessed but refused to admit.
She remembered her first years in high school. how unpopular and insecure she was. She wished to be every other girl. Her nose was too long. Her legs were ugly and bowlegged. She was too skinny. When she saw herself reflected in pictures, she wished she could disappear. but instead, she dedicated herself to seeking attention from her classmates. First she lied about her family, her upbringing, her status. they owned a supermarket, she lied. The old man who came to pick her up in that embarassing car was her grandfather she said; the younger one was their chauffeur. When she was discovered, she continued to live in denial. She refused to give in. No, she hadn´t stolen the watch nor the pencilcase. No, those pictures of snow and a happy family enjoying a birthday party were in fact her... yes, even though i look different there, that´s me.. of course. And then those letters from so called penpals from Scotland, Paris, Vienna... no, they bear local stamps because they are all my friends, i mean they send it to someone here before it reaches you... no, no, thats a Scottish family.. of course it looks like your country.. it´s almost the same, yes. And the lies turned to bigger ones, but she didnt stop. Why? She was already the outcast, her popularity as a misfit was soaring.. She would redeem herself, she promised. One day, she would be admired by these very girls who shunned and looked down on her.. yes...