De sobra sabes que eres la primera que no miento si juro que daría por ti la vida entera, por ti la vida entera.Y sin embargo un rato cada día ya ves te engañaría con cualquiera te cambiaría por cualquiera.
She kept playing these confused lines of Joaquin Sabina´s "Y sin embargo" over and over in her head.

- so where does that leave us?
-Us? was there ever an us?
- Didn´t all my attempts to draw closer to you, all the times i showed you how much you meant to me, mean anything at all to you? You must have been aware that you were more than a friend to me? How about all those times you tried to be intimate with me and i pushed you away? I don´t know when things changed between us?
-Me neither. But you are right, something changed
-I remember that night we sat for hours, you lying on your back and me sitting by your side. we imagined what our futures would be like. Such beautiful moments. you told me i´d marry a Moroccan then he´d die and i´d go for his brother! then i´d become a terrorist.. and then you laughed out loud! Then i´d be flying towards my homeland with my husband and two kids when the plane´s engine would fail...right over YOUR homeland..hahah.. and you, being the superman that you are.. would rescue us.. i remember i told you your version was bullshit but i still loved listening to you invent my life.. i felt so close to you that night...
- Yes and you told me i´d end up dying when i came to visit you..but i prefer to die close to my mother earth too..Doesn´t everyone want to die where they came from, close to their origins?
- do we have to talk about death? the idea was to figure out when things changed between us? What happened? I remember observing to you that u were acting differently, that i no longer felt you close to me. You told me i wasn´t the first to tell you that. How it hurt weeks after when you told a friend infront of me that when a guy distances himself from a girl, it´s a sign that he wants to slowly break away... I felt so depressed and sad
- But i kept coming to see you, if only to see you and feel your presence even though i knew you were different, that things couldn´t work out.. did we even try?
-No, i was too shy, i wouldnt let you near me.. and you didn´t bother either.. all you seemed to want was physical bonding..
-Well that´s a natural step in getting closer to someone, what´s so wrong with that...
-Nothing..it´s natural.. but for moments.. it seemed that that was all you were interested in..
-I´m young and perverted, can you blame me?!
-So i guess this is it.. we just try to stay friends...were we ever friends?
-Of course.. you were my best friend..
-haha! Dont make a mockery of friendship.. we were nothing in the end..im so nostalgic and lonely...and hurt..
-I´m sorry
-Are you?
-What the fuck is your problem? You know what? You just like attention!
-what? fuck! where are you coming from?! Im just telling you how i feel..
-Well you are messed up!!
-that´s typical male behavoir.. men are such arses!
-you are so stubborn.. when i first met you, you were an angel.. then i saw you metamorphose into a demon..with bulging eyes and veins that wanted to burst.. scary..hhhaha!
- you always make fun of everyhitng.. i actually believed i loved you.. but now i see you were a product of my imagination..all my imagination..and you could never live up to that creation.. in the end, when i judge you by your actions, you are a selfish fool, irresponsible and reckless who never loved me at all.. why did u make me grow close to you..
- Well you admitted you were the one who made all the moves..
-Yes, that´s true.. so i guess this is it.. we go our separate ways now.. we have nothing much to say to each other now..
-ciao then..
- fuck! i hate you for that! your ability to be so cold and indifferent. i wish i also possessed your sang froid!
-I don´t understand you.. first you say.. ok, that´s it.. and when i assent, you become angry..
-You dont understand women´s psyche at all... and you aspire to be a doctor corazón! thats ridiculous!
-.....
- I curse myself for falling for you.. everyone told me you were going to hurt me.. but i wanted to get hurt... i wanted to live, love, feel..
-....
-in the end, i will remember the good moments.. the time when you told me you thought about me alot.. you wrote about me.. when you touched my toe and when you told me the time spent with me was magical.. i won´t forget you... adiós then
-...