Single monogamous albatross, 47, seeks mate of similar characteristics

This brief article on the failure of the alcatross bird to find a mate far away from his native land immediately caught my eye. the heading read- "Forty years searching for a mate". Images of Eva Hache, the late nite "news comedian" immediately came to mind; I imagined her "pulling at the bird´s feathers"; wondering if he were perhaps polygamous, if it would have been easier to find a mate... or poking fun at exactly why the bird was rejected by the "alcatraces" with whom he has had not an ounce of success! Or perhaps wondering of his future chances seeing that he is fast approaching "retirement age". According to the article in El País, the bird´s life span is about 70 years. this one, it seems is already 47! Maybe its time he changes his strategies and adopt bolder tactics in attracting these proud, hard-to-get alcatraces!! Here are some lines i pulled out from the article which caught my eye and which i have already mentioned in my comment:

Albert es un albatros enfermo de amor que lleva cuarenta años sin encontrar pareja porque vive a miles de kilómetros de su hábitat natural... Los albatros son monógamos y no cambian nunca de pareja... En la zona donde ha acabado este ejemplar, no hay aves de su especie... Albert estaba tratando de intimar con alcatraces, otra especie de ave marina... Las pasadas cuatro décadas se ha empeñado en un esfuerzo inútil por conquistar alcatraces en otras islas remotas del archipiélago escocés.

Let´s get back to joking a la Eva Hache.. we might suggest that the alcatraces are perhaps racist or xenophobic and have therefore refused to mate with these outsiders who will sully their blood and change their features... im sure the alcatraces would recieve alot of support from some extreme-right bird species!! Maybe it´s because this albatross has refused to integrate into his new home and that´s why he´s such a paria, condemned to solitude and extinction!! Like Sarkozy, if he can´t love his new home, then he should just pack up and go back to the Falklands where he could mate with Brits if he so please...
Bueno, bueno, bueno.... this is the reality of Poor Albert, 47, single and looking for a mate. i can´t even suggest he try an add in the classifieds cause im sure no one will notice it amongst the thousand provocative, tantalising promises of pleasure and perversion.. besides, im sure with his monogamy, this option might just sound scandalous!!!!